There are awards and then there are awards. The Nobel, the Pulitzer, and of course the Oscar mark the height of achievement, and no second-rate statuette can live up to them. (Yeah, I'm talking about the Golden Globes.)
But last weekend while all eyes were on the Academy, across town at a theater that usually features magic shows another testament to achievement was awarded. Achievement in awfulness: the Golden Raspberries.
For 28 years, the Razzies have highlighted the worst of the worst, from Madonna to Jenny McCarthy, Leonard Part 6 to Basic Instinct 2. And 2007 proved to be a very crappy year, oh yes. I Know Who Killed Me, Norbit, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry were heavy favorites, with nine nominations for the unbearably awful Lindsay Lohan vehicle, including two Worst Actress nods -- she plays twins, or something -- and one recognizing her with herself for Worst Couple.
Eddie Murphy's 102 minutes of agony got eight nods, including a record-setting trifecta: Murphy for Worst Actor, Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Supporting Actress. Adam Sandler's gay marriage train wreck got eight too, including the much-coveted Worst Screenplay.
The Razzies have had some memorable moments over the years. In 2001, Tom Green showed up in person to pick up his five awards for Freddy Got Fingered, and in 2004 Halle Berry accepted her Worst Actress Razzie for Catwoman with her Oscar in the other hand and some special words for the studio: "First of all, I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me in a piece of..." -- well, just click here for the video, it's totally worth it.
Sylvester Stallone, a towering giant of the Razzies, has 30 lifetime nods and 10 wins (including Worst Actor of the Century), and had an unprecedented nine-year streak of nominations from 1984 to 1992. In 2004, Ben Stiller was nominated for Worst Actor in a record five films: Along Came Polly, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Envy, and Starsky and Hutch. (Wait, he was in Anchorman? Wait, there was a movie called Envy?)
When the spray-painted plastic fruit had been doled out, Lindsay Lohan's giant pile of crap stood tall with a new record: eight statues, beating out long-time leaders Showgirls and Battlefield Earth (tied with seven). After a dramatic double-win tie of two awards for Worst Actress, one for each twin (or whatever), I Know Who Killed Me made an impressive sweep: Worst Screen Couple (again for the twins, or… whatever), Worst Excuse for a Horror Movie, Worst Screenplay, Worst Director, Worst Remake or Ripoff, and Worst Picture.
Eddie Murphy won all three acting Razzies he was nominated for, making a total of five for Norbit; the rancid I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry was shut out. Daddy Day Camp won the only remaining prize, for Worst Sequel or Prequel. Oscar winner Jon Voight, though nominated Worst Actor for his four terrible, terrible performances in Bratz, National Treasure 2, September Baby, and Next, was neglected. (If you want him to come to your kid's birthday party, I've heard he'll do it for cake and a producer's credit.)
They say the Academy starts planning the next ceremony while they're still breaking down the bleachers from the last one, and the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation is already hard at work. Sixty-seven movies have come out this year so far, and Fool's Gold, The Hottie and the Nottie, and Rambo are already generating serious buzz. And unlike those Academy snobs, just 25 bucks gets you voting rights and two tickets to next year's bash. Membership does indeed have its privileges.
There are awards and then there are 
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