Grand Theft Auto IV is already a huge hit in stores and I know that, as I write this, a Hollywood exec is eyeing those sales. It won't be long before a lightbulb, small and dull as it may be, lights up over his head. Wait a darn minute ... we could make a movie out of that thing!
To that I say not so fast, flunky. On the surface a Grand Theft Auto movie might sound like a good idea, but the truth is what makes the game great has nothing to do really with its story. It has to do with the game's attitude, its raciness and humor. What makes the game great is the freedom it allows you when you play it. In the game, you can murder pimps, gang members and thugs in all sorts of hellish ways (bats and flame-throwers are very popular and there's always that one sim character -- many times an innocent civilian -- that drops to the ground in a funnier way than the others so they become harder to resist). You can take on any number of missions or you can steal a really sweet ride downtown and listen to the radio stations for hours on end. You can cause mayhem, get those yellow stars flashing, and test your ability to outrun the cops.
Basically, Grand Theft Auto is fun because it allows the player to engage in some very bad behavior. Right or wrong, it feeds a primal cavity and it does so because we are in control of the character's actions. And that is what makes the game great. Not the story, not the characters, not the dialogue (though they all can be amusing) ... none of that nonsense. It's the fact that the cities you cause havoc in are amazingly vast and well-detailed and you can run free in them, never completing one mission. It's a game where it doesn't pay to be a nice guy.
A movie could never translate what makes the game great to the big screen. They could make a corrupt crime story in the vein of Street Kings or Training Day, sure. I'm betting that Hollywood exec will pitch a movie not unlike the many rise-through-the-ranks crime movies we've seen eight billion times already, pay for the rights, slap the Rockstar label on it, and it will be a product based on name brand only and not substance.
Unless...
Unless said Hollywood exec dares to pitch a movie that has no real point whatsoever ... a movie that happens through first-person perspective and you, the viewer, are mindlessly killing criminals and innocents alike, car-jacking old ladies, running over anyone in sight, picking up ladies of the evening, stealing their cash and finally, mercifully it all ends with you getting mowed down by 15 cops because you five-starred and couldn't get away. Now that would capture the essence of Grand Theft Auto.
Yeah, probably won't happen. And even if it does, it will never be half the fun of doing it in the comfort of your own living room.
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