I saw Rambo this past weekend and my inner ape loved it. And here's why: Rambo kills bad guys. And for those of you who came in late, here it is again: Rambo kills bad guys. I'm feeling so nostalgic and violent right now I'm heading to a Best Buy to pick up the first three films.
But in the meantime, I thought I'd wax poetic on some of the things John Rambo and his films have taught us over the last twenty-five (!) years.
1. Arrows with explosive heads are not an idiotic, ridiculously unnecessary idea at all.
2. Save the onion metaphors for your standard ogre. There are only good people and evil people. And the evil people must die in horrible ways.
3. Recessions don't hurt people. Rambo does (eat your heart out, Chuck Norris).
4. It's okay to be tortured... as long as you kill everyone within a 50-mile radius afterwards.
5. Burma really, really sucks.
6. After battling the Russians, the Vietnamese and the Burmese ... it's clear most people don't know how to shoot.
7. Most consonants are overrated.
8. If you don't know how to write a screenplay, just blow things up!
9. Always wear a bandana. It's better than a bulletproof vest.
10. When given the choice between killing 10 people and killing 100... always kill 100.
I'm sure there is more to be learned from the ocean of academia within the Rambo franchise but we don't have nearly enough time or space for it. But I will leave you with this: If you are a Rambo fan -- particularly First Blood Part II --- go see this movie. No matter how preposterous the movie looks or sounds, understand it's blood buckets of fun. Live a little. Brave it. like John says, "Live for nothing or die for something." Yeah, he taught us that too.
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